let the sandwich do the talking

This is photographic evidence of my lunch today: a grilled sandwich made with homemade macaroni and cheese, smoked tofu, bbq sauce and raw red onion.

It was good and definitely 'culturally relevant'/blgwrthy.

I'll take that with onion.

Hey y'all, Paula Deen here with a guest post. Seems like the good ol' boys over at the Onion have made a special section devoted to sandwiches. If y'all are like me and like a good, hearty laugh as much as I enjoy a good hearty "man-nayse", bacon, cigarette and MAO-inhibitor sandwich, y'all are in for a real treat.

Y'all take a look now!

my new go-to 'wich

Red onion

One egg

Three slices of tomato

Broccoli

Cold, hand-sliced cheddar cheese

Steamed bagel (I place it on top of a tea kettle with the top removed)

The most delicate wisp of butter

Combine those ingredients in the most logical manner, and then let it sit for a good five minutes and cut in half with a serrated knife.

I could have one every day and am two-for-two yesterday and today.  Plus, the cost of this sandwich is somewhere around 2$, and all the ingredients were purchased from Rainbow.

See?  The empty plate space is where the potato pancakes go!

Portland: A City without a Sandwich

Ok, so this blog's title may be misleading. I do not mean to imply that Portland has no sandwiches, or even a sandwich worth blogging about, only that on my recent trip to said city, I had no sandwich. Portland does have some fine eats, though, and I want to highlight a few of them.

1. Andina. This Peruvian Tapas restaurant was our first meal in PDX, and the best. We went here for Anna's b-day based on friend's recommendation, and man was it good. From the salad (with some sort of toasted nuts (pomagranite seeds?) quesa fresca, hearts of palm and a passion fruit vinagrette) to the smoked fish, fried yuca relleno, and grilled diver scallop, everything was elegant and perfect.

2. Hot Lips Pizza. Pizza with locally-sourced, seasonal, organic toppings AND locally-sourced, seasonal housemade soda? OK.

3. Voodoo Donut. Though it was obvious that us and every other person standing in the long line for donuts were tourists, it was worth it. I had a Mango filled donut, Anna went with a Neopolitan, and we split a Boston Creme. I want another right now.

4. Farmer's Market Cookies. We got some cookies at the Farmer's Market. A homemeade oreo that was reedick, a passion fruit creme that was even MORE reedick and a salted chocolate chip cookie that was deec. We also got a strawberry rubarb hand-held pie. There was also a stand that had like 8 varieties of homemade, artisan pickles that all gave the finger to the Davis Farmer's Market.

In conclusion, I think I'd get tired of things being "locally-sourced" or "seasonal" or "artisanal" if I lived in Portland. Or maybe I'd just stop noticing.

BREAKING SANDWICH NEWS

A new Golden Era for sandwich lovers in California's Central Valley is upon us. Jaymes, of Davis Farmer's Market Breakfast Sandwich fame, is opening a restaurant. REPEAT: JAYMES IS OPENING A RESTAURANT. Her breakfast sandwiches, created exclusively from FM produce, have been gushed over ("it's like an orgasm in my mouth," says Ed) on this blog and in my life for approximately the past year. And now it looks as though the one-sandwich-a-week- because- it-would-look-weird-and-extremely-gluttonous-to go-to-her-little-cart-more-than-once-in-a-day rule is now a thing of the past.

Rumors of the new restaurant were flying at the farmer's market, where we approached a local farmer for some leeks. When we inquired about some things that turned out to be garlic scapes (the flowers of the garlic plant that are effing delicious btw), he told us that Jaymes was going to use scapes this week's sandwiches before she realized that her and her popsicle cart would be at the Whole Earth Festival that day.

"Her sandwiches are delicious," said Anna, "She needs to open a restaurant."

"She is, as a matter of fact," the farmer replied.

This rumor was confirmed later that day by the woman working the pop cart at Whole Earth, who seemed surprised that we knew about it. I guess she didn't realize she was talking to a vanguard in the sandwich news biz.

The restaurant is going to be at 5th and L in Davis. No word on an opening date or menu, or even if this restaurant will be sandwich-centric. One could only dream of the sandwiches they will be putting out in the near future. Its enough to make a guy not want to move out of this crap town.

just my 'magination. . .

So it's been hella long since I've posted on the blog about sandwiches. . .but word out on the street (specifically, 24th Street in old San Francisco) is that there is a cheesesteak place offering not one, not two, but three non-seitan vegetarian options.

There is a portabello (or is it portabella) mushroom sandwich that sounds insane.  A tofu cheesesteak that seems like it'd be worth trying is on the menu as well.  I'm not sure on the third one, as I have yet to go to this storied sandwich spot.

Oh, and also, there's a Newcastle cheddar sauce (kind of like when Bobby Flay made a provolone cheese wiz on the cheesesteak episode of "Throwdown", but less, I don't know, stupid?).  Tim, if you want me to wait to scope this place out with you, you have about two hours in which to contact me.

They're Back

The BRUNCH team at the Davis Farmer's Market expanded to five members this weekend, allowing them to pump out 3 types of egg sandwiches (the classic greens and goat cheese, the standard cheddar and bacon, and the NKOTB asparagus, bacon, and parmasean) and two drinks (muddled mint iced tea and Meyer lemonade). I went for the asparagus, sans bacon...because I wanted my mind to be blown. This happened. The aspargus seemed young; the pieces were slight and delecate rather than woody. They were halved lenthwise and then sauteed. The parm was not overwelming, and added nuttiness and depth.

They need to open a restaurant

Faux Egg Salad

This week, I'm substituting my usual PB&H lunch with a modified version of the Chicago Diner's Sun Salad. This hold over from my vegan days still stands up; in fact, I prefer it to egg salad. It is uncanny how well uncooked tofu mimics hard-boiled egg white. My modified reciped follows.

1 1/2 lb firm tofu, cut into small cubes
1/2 yellow onion, diced
1 red pepper, diced
1/4 cup Italian parsley, chopped
1/3 cup toasted sunflower seeds
2/3 cup Vegenaise
1/2 t mustard powder
1/4 t tumeric
salt & pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients & serve on Village Bakery sliced French bread.
No pictures, sadly. My telephone screen broke and Anna's got the digital in Alabammy.

I've got an Ike, you can eat it if you like.

Tim texted me this AM to see if I would be down with a short-notice hang and trip to Ike's.  In the wake of last weekend's Phish reunion, it seemed only natural that Tim and I were to spend the remainder of the morning poised to make a grand reunion with the most talked-about thing on this blog.

As you no doubt are aware, I made a return trip a couple weeks back and had the fake meatball with mozzerella sticks.  It was good, but the stick kind of got lost in the shuffle- there was so much action in the sandwich, and they weren't crispy enough to be noticed.  My imagination predicted a far more dramatic and intense encounter with that sandwich than was provided.  'Twas still good, but I needed another shot of magic from Meatless Mike.

The Meatless Mike was great.  That's all I can really say.  I'm at that point where I can't decide to always stick with a 9.5- or should I try and average a 9.5?  I think I'm going to stick with what I know.  Why fix what ain't broke?  

That scent wafting your way isn't just marinara, TVP, gouda, sourdough, onion ring, BBQ sauce, Dutch crunch, fake turkey and crisp but subtle veggies.  It might be another post where Tim and I discuss our slightly differing opinions with adjacent postings to this blog.

Sandwich Conspiracy

Sources confirm that Ed has returned to Ike's Place for more sandwiches, and yet no new blogs or reviews have surfaced. That's messed up.

Also, Sean has his Bible; I have mine. Alton Brown's Good Eats episode entitled "Sandwich-craft." Amazing

Is a Dog a Sandwich?

Veggie dogs with homemade slaw

Counterpoint: Ike's Place is Fucking Awesome

My esteemed colleague (see "Point" review below) purports to be an expert on sandwiches, and claims his "thoughts" on Ike's Place's Meatless Mike is the end-all, be-all in sandwich reviewery. And though Ed attempts to provide comprehensive insight, he just plain misses the mark. Here's why:

1. Ed writes, "The "meatballs" seemed house-made, the bread was flavorful, spongy, chewy, the cold toppings worked wonders with the hot sandwich filling and bread." True the meatballs seemed house-made and the bread was flavorly, spongy, blah blah blah. But what he failed to denote is that the meatballs and bread and toppings were fucking awesome. Seriously FUCKING AWESOME. Even those deprived of taste would agree. Yet Ed, for whatever reason, neglected to point this out. Hiding something, sir?

2. "Ike's is just like living in paradise. . .and I don't wanna go home," says Ed. Ike's is not like living in paradise. It isn't like anything. Ike's is paradise. Ike's is, even after eating just one sandwich, without a doubt the most fuckingly ridiculously awesome fake meat sandwich purveyor in these United States. And I lived in Milwaukee for 6 years.

They also give you a Tootsie Pop with your meal. Did I also mention that it was the perfect amount of food? Because it was. The only thing I wished for was my sandwich in my face faster. Considering that, on a scale of 1 to 2, 2 being "totally awesome" and 1 being "so not awesome," I give it a 2.

Point: Ike's Place is awesome.

So, Tim was coming into town to hang on Friday, and we had planned to go to the cheesesteak place, so that I could give it one last chance to "wow" me.  After those plans were made, a cursory glimpse of the Onion's "Food" section revealed a review of Ike's Place.  I didn't read past "100 sandwiches" before emailing Tim to alert him that our plans had changed for the day.

It was sunny and nice out, and about 1:00.  I thought there would be a megaline to wait in, but thankfully, we strolled right in.  Tim and I both opted for the "Meatless Mike"- a fake-meatball hoagie with Jack cheese and red sauce, with everything on sourdough.  It looked like there were a lot of fake meat options, and they advertised that "any sandwich can be made vegetarian".  It led me to believe they had an arsenal of Morningstar and Trader Joe's brand fake meat in tow, and I was kind of discouraged by this.

We went to wait at an outdoor table, trying desperately to conserve our potato chips.  Then the sandwiches arrived, and I can't really do it justice in words or pictures.  It was perfect.  Every aspect was perfect.  In fact, there was even some sort of 1000 Island dressing on it, and I didn't even care.  The "meatballs" seemed house-made, the bread was flavorful, spongy, chewy, the cold toppings worked wonders with the hot sandwich filling and bread.

There is a sandwich called "Change" or "Barack Obama" or something, and it is steak, cheese and onion rings.  I'm going to have to try that shit meatless and report back, but until then, Ike's is just like living in paradise. . .and I don't wanna go home.

more blogs

Yeah, I have another one- Mensan for Hire

OK, also:

take it easy, bro!

I love sandwiches as much as the next guy.  That is, unless the next guy is this guy:

MP3

BBQ Seitan Failure

Young Ed came over for the Super Bowl yesterday, and sandwiches abounded. I cooked up a batch of the Chicago Diner's Veggie Sloppy Joes, substituting a very nice seitan (albeit store-bought) for the tempeh that was called for. And though there was nothing seriously wrong with it, I was slightly disappointed by this recipe yet again. The Diner Cookbook is one of my all-time faves...most everything that is in it is a winner, but the sloppy joe misses the mark. The recipe essentially creates a BBQ seitan with a homemade sauce more than a traditional SJ, but said sauce is not as flavorful as it could be. The ingredients of the sauce are as follows...

ketchup, a lil mustard, chili powder, liquid smoke, s -n- p

What is it missing? What would you add? I'd say it definitely needs to be kicked up, Guy Fieri style, but also needs a little more depth of flavor. I thought slow cooking for several hours would help the flavors meld a little more, but it still needs a little something extra.

Easy, easy, easy meat.

Heat cast iron skillet,

add 1/4 lb of sliced seitan and a tablespoon of oil

Brown

Take buttered bread, and place it in the skillet, butter side down.

Add cheddar cheese to the unbuttered side.

Then,

add the seitan strips

and BBQ sauce

some cracked black pepper,

and then some more cheddar cheese.

Top with another piece of buttered bread,

this time,

butteredsideup.

Warm until bread is

brown (Alton Brown and Delicious)

and the cheese has melted.

OPTIONAL: pickle.

That'sa Gooda Sandwich

Eggplant Parmesan Sandwich, Sauteed Spinach

Sauce:
1 White onion, finely chopped
3 Cloves garlic, minced
2 Small cans (or one large) San Marzano tomatoes, whole
2T Fresh oregano, chopped
1T Fresh basil, chopped
1/2t Crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 cup red wine
Olive Oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Eggplant:
2lbs Eggplant, sliced into 1/4 inch rounds
2 cups Panko breadcrumbs
1t Garlic powder
1t Italian Seasoning
Salt and pepper to taste
3 Eggs
1/2 cup Flour
1/3 cup Olive oil

Extras:
1/2lb Fontina cheese, sliced thin
Parmesan cheese
4 Ciabatta rolls
Fresh basil

To make the sauce, saute the onion in olive oil until translucent. Add the garlic and saute 1 minute more. Meanwhile, pour tomatoes into a bowl, with juice, and smash the tomatoes with your hands. Add the tomatoes to the onions and bring to a simmer. Add , pepper flakes, oregano and basil, and season with salt and pepper. Add the wine, and simmer for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to low and cook for 1-4 hours, stirring occasionally. Finish bottle of wine.

To make the eggplant, combine breadcrumbs, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning in a bowl and season with salt and pepper. Scramble eggs in another bowl. Put flour in yet another bowl. Dredge the eggplant pieces in the flour, then the egg, and then cover completely with eggplant. If you need another egg, so-be-it. Heat the oil over medium heat in a heavy pan. When its hot, place the eggplant in the pan and cook until golden brown. Flip. Repeat until all the eggplant is cooked.

Preheat oven to 425. Slice the ciabatta rolls. Layer some eggplant, then a generous amount of sauce, then the sliced fontina and parmesan. Place sandwiches on a baking sheet and place in the oven until the cheese is melted and the bread is slightly toasted. Top with fresh basil.

Sandwich Prep Tip: Put your oil in a squirt bottle like Guy Fieri.

Bánh mì

Vegetarian Bánh mì, Sunrise Restaurant, Davis, CA

mister president

"Let me get a tuna sandwich," he said, asking for it on 12-grain bread with tomatoes. (Hold the mayo, he said.) "Actually, can you melt cheese on that? Can you make like a tuna melt with cheddar cheese?"

Mmm.  I'd eat it.